did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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