I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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