Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
