so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
