As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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