She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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