It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
