I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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