I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
