trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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