apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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