ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
