I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
