You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
