normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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