the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
