I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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