bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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