You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I currently don't understand fingers.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
