What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You were trust falling into bushes
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
