Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
