so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
