he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
