Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Someone came in the potted fern
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize