I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
