Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
