I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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