omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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