I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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