Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
