my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
