And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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