im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
