She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
