Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
