I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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