It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
