Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Man, jail baloney is awful.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
