i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
