Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
