not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
