i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
