I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
