Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
