Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
