Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The adults are the big ones right?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
