So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
