I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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