ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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