We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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